Mr. Spock's Love Language?

Just had to link to this post from Ralph Harris. Mr. Spock's Love Language?

Quote:

Which is better: to believe that God makes an every day, every moment decision to love, or that God IS love and every decision of every day and every moment comes from love?

There is such a subtle but deadly difference between making a decision to love, and every decision coming from love.

I think this one difference is one of the huge reasons why there is such a focus on "how to's" in the church today. "How to love," "how to live the Christian life," etc. The church is teaching people "how to love" rather than "living from love." Again, it's so subtle, but so HUGE a difference!

God is Good - That's the Point (video blog)

Practically Speaking – Part 3 of 3

The Apostle Paul was really great at laying the foundation of the gospel and the Christian life – God’s love and grace, the blood of Jesus, His finished work, our solid identity in Him, etc. All of this is not only the foundation, but it is woven into every aspect of life in Christ. Paul told the Corinthians that he “determined to know nothing among them except Christ and Him crucified.” Paul said, “I have been crucified with Christ, and the life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God…” He was very careful to make sure his readers knew that the Christian life was about faith in God, and in the very life of Christ in them, and not about their own fleshly works that they could conjure up.

His epistles, of course, included much more than simply straight identity doctrine. In the very same epistles, Paul also included some very practical words about how it all looked when it was lived out. Grace and identity was, of course, inextricably woven into all of it. He was not giving “rules for Christian living” or any such thing, but rather was giving some very wonderful, practical words of wisdom. All of this has the potential to be taken in the wrong, legalistic way, of course. All of these things have the potential to be used in manipulative and controlling ways. But as people who love one another and have great grace towards one another, as Paul did with those he wrote to, this can all be a very wonderful part of the Christian life.

For example I don’t believe Paul was being legalistic or going beyond grace or looking to something other than grace or trying to balance anything with grace when he said, “flee sexual immorality.” That can (has the potential to) be taken as a legalistic command or rule, but in this (and other words of Paul), I think it's an exhortation that can help a Christian live as who they truly are. This also has the potential to be taken as words that we try to keep through the efforts of our flesh. May that never be!!!

I don’t live my life by looking at the Bible for principles for how to live my life. But what can happen is that at the proper times, God can speak things through people that help me, by His grace, to live like who I am. For example, God can speak to me through someone the words, “husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church” and that can be the instigator that changes my behavior… from the inside out. It can help, by God's grace, to change how I treat my wife. It’s not a rule and it’s not a law that I apply. It’s simply Christ speaking some good words through somebody else to me that helps me to outwardly be more of who I am inwardly. It’s the same with so many of the other things that Paul and the New Testament writers mentioned… and it’s by no means limited to the various exhortations in the NT.

I can think of many examples of how this has played out in my life. One example is Paul’s words, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Eph 4:26). What this has done, is it has caused me and my wife to do all our fighting during daylight hours! Just kidding! But seriously, as a husband and as a daddy who sometimes messes up and walks after the flesh, simply thinking about these words has brought me back to the reality of who I am and it’s led me to going and making amends with either my wife or my kids. It’s not a rule that I’ve followed. It’s not a law. It’s simply something that can be a good thing for the heart and mind to consider and it can really help to change a person’s attitude and actions to match who they truly are in Christ - again by the Spirit and by His grace, not by my own fleshly attempts at living it out.

As a child, when my sisters and I were squabbling and fighting, I remember my mom often saying, “don’t return evil for evil” (Rom 12:17, 1 Thess 5:15, 1 Peter 3:9). As I got older and began to truly understand what that really meant, it began to take root in me… especially because I saw it lived out by both my parents. I never heard them talking bad about others, and I know that they were hurt by others at times, and they always responded graciously, at least from what I saw.

Again, these are just a few examples of what I’m talking about. It is a “grace-full” thing to speak to one another in ways such as these. It’s not adding to grace, it’s not lowering the value of grace, it’s not balancing grace with anything. Our words to one another can stimulate one another into action. Our words to one another can work together with Christ’s life in us to bring about a change of mind and direction… to make conscious decisions or choices and that can help to spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Not words of conviction, not words of guilt, not words of condemnation… but words of exhortation, admonition, encouragement.

I welcome your thoughts, whether you wholeheartedly agree with me or wholeheartedly disagree with me or anywhere in between. It’s me… JOEL! You can agree or disagree with me and I still hold you in the highest of regards!

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Practically Speaking – Part 1 of 3

All who read this blog know me to be someone who has a passion to speak words that are based on being rooted, grounded and established in the grace of God and in our identity in Him. My almost 800 posts speak to that! Although this post is a bit different from my other posts, I do believe that what I’m going to say here is rooted in the pure grace of God.

I’ve said plenty of times that I’m very opposed to the idea that the Christian life is a matter of living by rules, principles, methods, etc. Life in Christ is a matter of His life in us, working in us and through us and out of us. It’s not about us studying principles to keep us and guide us. It’s not about becoming better people, but rather it’s about living from the new creations that we already are, trusting in Christ’s life in us to animate us.

So does that mean that we never speak words to one another that spur on this animated new creation life? Does resting in Christ simply mean we sit back, basking in His love and grace, and before you know it we’re simply bearing good fruit? Does it mean that as long as we’re learning our identity in Him, and we become established in His love and grace, that everything automatically falls into place?

Of necessity, we will never live out the Christ life in its most natural way unless we’re rooted, grounded and established in His love and grace and in our identity in Him. I can never see myself not believing that! As I’ve looked back on my life and have seen myself and others growing in all of this, and growing in the outward expression of who we already are on the inside, I’ve noticed that a lot of it has come from some really great encouraging words from others, as well as some really great – and practical – Christ-and-grace-filled exhortations and admonitions from others.

The word practical simply means “capable of being used or put into effect.” In speaking these practical words to one another in our Christ-life, we can bring out the Christ in each other. Christ is living in us no matter what, of course! Sometimes “considering one another in order to stir up love and good works” (Heb 10:24) and “exhorting one another” (Heb 10:25) means that Christ speaks words to us through one another that aid in bringing about the change of mind, attitude, decision making process, etc, that leads to real Christ-produced fruit. None of this is to give us any better of a standing before God, or to make us closer to Him. That was all taken care of with the Blood of Jesus. No… these are all simply words that we can use with one another to spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

For quite some time I was really turned off by even the mention of any of this. “Principles for Christian living” had been jammed into my head through the constant preaching and teaching of them, and I knew that I knew that I knew that this was not what the Christian life was about. Practical teaching has been very overdone and has become a very legalistic thing in the church. People have even used it to control and manipulate others. Church ‘leaders’ have sadly turned them into rules and commands, taking away from the original intent of this type of talk amongst one another.

And so in saying all of this, I want to be absolutely clear that I’m not saying that our life in Christ is a matter of striving to apply godly principles to our lives. It’s not a matter of preaching a new set of principles every week and then going out and trying to make them work.

What I am saying is that as we get more and more rooted and grounded and established in grace and in our identity in Christ, God can and does speak to us in all kinds of ways, through internal and external means, and part of that includes encouraging, exhorting and admonishing us through each other.

The Apostle Paul did a whole lot of this in his epistles. It can be a very grace-full thing to speak these things to one another. Again, it doesn’t make us “better people” and it doesn’t make us any closer to God. It simply helps to bring out the life of Christ.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Works - Part 3 of 4

We've evolved into a body of believers who don't know what to do or how to do it apart from being told what to do - through reading various biblical instructions, through reading books, through listening to preachers and teachers, and so on. We've evolved from a Spirit-based Life to a performance-based religion. Do we really know God - or who we truly are in Him?

We're so used to equating "doing" with doing teaching - exhortations, methods, principles. In other words, we don't know what to do or how to live unless we're "instructed" on what to do. We've made church that way. We haven't taught identity, but rather "saved by grace, now get to work" - with little or no foundation of where the work really comes from - the life of Christ in us.

And so... what you see coming from me is what I believe is the root of the Christian life. The root is not works. The root is Jesus Himself. The root is grace. The root is our true identity in Christ. The root is all those things intertwined in such a way that they are "one." From the root springs a natural plant that bears natural fruit.

Paul was accused of teaching licentiousness (grace is a license to sin), which is far from what he was doing, so I'm never surprised when the pure message of God's grace, and resting/abiding in Christ is misconstrued by others to mean being couch potatoes. But when the abiding life is lived out, the result that's shown can hardly be said to be the life of a couch potato! However, I wonder if the "doing" is always what the church makes it out to look like!

Unripe and plastic fruit - Part 2 of 2

Another blog post that brought about my desire to post on this subject is Until Love Pleases... from Matthew's blog. Matthew brings out a verse from Song of Solomon that says not to "stir up or awaken love until it pleases." We're in such a hurry these days. Such a hurry to do, such a hurry to perform, such a hurry to produce, such a hurry to grow. Which leads to another huge problem that can easily come as a result of performance-based Christian teaching - fake lifestyles and fake love that only appears holy --- also known as self-righteousness. I realize that self-righteousness is often perceived to mean a "holier than thou" attitude, but actually I think far more often it's expressed in the form of a performance-based lifestyle - me trying my best perform for God or for people.

Last week I shared with my pastor (again, agreeing on some things and disagreeing on other things - which is perfectly fine) my thoughts that there are many people who hear all the principles taught in churches every week, and, sincerely wanting to be 'good Christians,' they put up the appearance of having it all together - but in reality they're just faking it. They're faking holiness. It's not only fruit that's unripe. It's fake, plastic fruit. It may have every appearance of being real, but it's not real. I think that due to all the "doing" teaching in the church today there is a lot of pressure to look as if you're living it, and living it well. Sometimes it's pressure we put on ourselves and other times it's peer pressure, but either way, performance-based Christianity does not help at all!

The fruit that I'm talking about includes, but is not limited to, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal 5:22-23). We're taught that all of these things - along with all the good works - are the marks of a good Christian, so we go around trying to display them, or treating them like "projects" that we need to work on and become better at. And so in our meetings we talk the talk and we act as if we're walking the walk, and we can make it look reeeeal good, but all it really is is an external appearance on the outside that hasn't truly come from who we are inside. And that's because we're not living from the Life that we already have on the inside, but rather we're constantly trying to follow all these principles and rules through external means ("the flesh"), trying to make ourselves to be something, when in fact we already are holy, righteous and complete in Him!

My purpose here is not to get down on anyone, but simply to point out the difference between unripe and plastic fruit that is the result of forced, contrived, fleshly growth, and real fruit that comes naturally and in due season as the Lord Himself works in us through His very life. The fruit of the Spirit is... the fruit of the Spirit. It's not up to us, but it's His fruit that He patiently works out of us as we simply abide (rest, remain) in Him and grow in His supernatural timing. His fruit in us is never unripe, never fake, never bad tasting, never plastic.

And so... what are some solutions to all this? I think the comments that came in after I posted Part 1 are excellent! Mainly... let's preach the pure gospel of grace. Let's preach Jesus. Let's not add anything to the gospel (such as our own works) or take anything away from it (such as the finished work of Jesus). And let's relax and lighten up! It's my opinion (and you can judge for yourself the validity of my opinion) that the various principles and exhortations to good works in the New Testament weren't written as a means of studying every week and then going out and trying to apply them to become better Christians. Rather, they are things that, as we grow in our understanding of who God is and who we truly are in Christ (the true foundation of our entire life of grace), show us what it looks like when it's "worked out" over the course of our lifetimes.

You simply can't force any of it. It must come naturally, and I believe it comes naturally as we grow in the gospel of grace, not as we try to "apply" principles. I believe it comes from the constant sharing with each other of the freedom and peace that we have in Christ, and God's unconditional love. I think most people know all the "do's and don'ts" of the Christian life, but how many people really know who they are in Christ? How many people really know the love of God? How many people are truly rooted and established in God's love and grace?

And so my plea to the Christian church is to preach Christ and Him crucified, dead and raised again! There is more power than you could ever imagine in this alone!

Unripe and plastic fruit - Part 1 of 2

Green bananas not only taste terrible but they feel terrible as you chew them! The reason is simple. They haven't ripened yet to the enjoyable yellow, softer, sweeter, good-to-eat state. There is a proper time to eat a banana.

Likewise, there is a proper time and a proper process for the formation and outward expression of "fruit" in the life of a Christian - but yet I've seen all too many examples of Christians who seem to be in a rush to produce fruit and to get others to produce fruit. Check out the post Unripe Grapes from Following Him Alone last week. That post, along with my meeting with a pastor the other day, as well as some other things I've felt the Lord whispering to my heart lately, has brought about the desire to post this blog.

The pastor, by the way, is someone who I love dearly. He's the pastor of the church my family has been a part of for almost nine years. As some of you know, I haven't been attending for over a year, for various reasons, but I still love the people and I was very touched when the pastor called me out of the blue a few weeks ago to say he missed seeing me and wanted to get together. When we finally got together last week we talked about many things (many agreements as well as disagreements), most of which I won't get into here, but part of our conversation relates to this post.

It has to do with the constant preaching of principles and methods, and always trying to get people to go out and do, do, do. Yes, we want to "do" as Christians! But my concern is that the principles- and performance-based teachings don't actually help Christians in the way that's intended, but rather can cause harm. I'll explain what I mean and you can agree or disagree with me.

In my case I've found that the constant preaching of methods and principles (the "how to's" of the Christian life) end up jamming me. My heart, which is indwelled by the Spirit of Jesus and is complete in Him, longs to express itself in love in so many ways, but quite frankly when all I hear is a bombardment of principles being taught all the time, I become overwhelmed because I simply can't keep up with it all. I need time to grow naturally, not hurriedly or under the impatient lead of performance-based teachers and preachers, of which there is no shortage. I've found that when I've sincerely tried to live by the teachings of principles, the "fruit" that has generally come (if any) has ended up unripe - that is, underdeveloped and not fully formed. And the sad things is, I've found that the church will still accept it, most of the time, because at least it shows that I'm "doing" something. But it ain't right.

Since this is getting long, I'll make it a two-parter. In the next part I'll talk about a second problem I see, and I'll take a look at some solutions as well!

Video Killed the Radio Star / Radio Ga Ga

The song Video Killed the Radio Star from the band Buggles, recorded in 1979, was both nostalgic and prophetic at the same time. The video for the song was the first video ever shown on MTV when the station launched on August 1, 1981.

The song was nostalgic in the sense that it looked back upon the days when radio ruled the world, with its soap operas, game shows, dramas and comedy shows... but then TV came on the scene, and video "killed" many of those who had become stars through radio.

And yet the song was prophetic in the sense that the video music era that would be ushered in by MTV (Music Television - back when the cable TV station actually played videos round the clock) changed the whole landscape of popular music. The music "radio stars" of the 60's and 70's who had become popular through radio airplay would soon be replaced by those who had the best visual effects in their music videos.

The song Radio Ga Ga by Queen had a somewhat similar nostalgic aspect to it, looking back on the good ol' days of radio. The theme of the song was not necessarily as prophetic as Video Killed the Radio Star, but rather hopeful in saying that radio was yet to have "its finest hour."

I think my favorite part of the song is this:

Let's hope you never leave old friend
Like all good things on you we depend
So stick around cos we might miss you
When we grow tired of all this visual
You had your time, you had the power
You've yet to have your finest hour
Radio...

If you know me by now, you know I'm not bringing all of this up simply to make a case about radio vs. video. :) I do enjoy these songs exactly as they are - after all, I grew up with them and I simply dig the music (and videos)! - and yet I also see some metaphors and symbolism that can be applied to the difference between the church as we know it today (that I think has gone off course), and how it's perhaps meant to be.

In simple terms, as I listen to these songs and follow along with the symbolism, I see "radio" as the way church (life in Christ) was meant to be and "video" as the way church has lost its original intent and meaning. Church as it was meant to be - again, in simplistic terms - was people knowing Jesus and being known by Him, and helping one another to grow close to Him and helping one another with the various needs of life. But what it has become is principles, programs, buildings, projects, sermons, morality lessons, attractions, visuals, social clubs, political bases... and so on and so on... you get the point.

I report, you decide. Maybe you have a different take. If nothing else, enjoy the videos!

Buggles - Video Killed the Radio Star


Queen - Radio Ga Ga

Quit Jammin' Me!

You got me in a corner
You got me against a wall
I got nowhere to go
I got nowhere to fall

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Jammin' Me. Ahh, great song! (Co-written with Bob Dylan) (See video below). Brings me back to my late teenage years. :)

I've heard this song a couple of times on the radio in the past week and a half, after having not heard it for a long time. I love my local station that plays songs from the 70's and 80's!

Anyway, this song is kind of like an anti-'information overload' type of song. We're definitely in an age in which we're constantly bombarded with all kinds of information and happenings. From songfacts.com: "In the lyrics, Petty mentions various places and events that were in the news and getting constant media exposure." What I see as the original intent of the lyrics, is, in a nutshell, "Quit jamming me with all this stuff!" It's too much!

In one part Petty sings:
Take back Vanessa Redgrave
Take back Joe Piscopo
Take back Eddie Murphy
Give 'em all some place to go

I heard good ol' Casey Kasem talking about that verse last week. (Casey's Top 40 countdowns from the 70's and 80's are rebroadcast on the radio station I mentioned above). Casey said that it's not that Tom Petty has anything against those people. They simply are (were) a representation of what was big in the media. (By the way, we're talking 1987 here).

Well, the real reason I'm writing this post isn't so much about living in the information age, although it's certainly a legitimate concern. My reason has to do with how I see a parallel in this song to my previous experience in church.

Now, I've been in some pretty legalistic settings in my church life, in which law and rules are heavily mixed into the teachings. But I'm not necessarily talking about that. I'm talking about more of a subtle type of legalism that seems to get past the radar of a lot of my 'church peers.' What I'm talking about is the information overload of principles for Christian living.

I was under the spell for years! Every week I would go to church and put myself under what I thought was really good teaching about how to live the Christian life. I would listen to the pastor preach, and I would get all pumped up about how I was going to go out and begin putting all these wonderful principles to work in my life. Sunday afternoons were always an exciting time in my heart, as I couldn't wait till Monday, when I would be back in the real world applying all these principles.

But then Monday actually came.

Somehow I wasn't fired up anymore. Somehow all the wonderful things I'd heard on Sunday only seemed like pure fantasy now. And so I'd be so downhearted; I'd feel like such a failure.

But there was always NEXT Sunday! I couldn't wait! NEXT Sunday I knew I would hear some really powerful stuff and I knew I'd finally put it to good use!

And of course, the circle continued.

Well, finally I heard the good news of God's grace, and I got myself out of that performance treadmill that really was getting me nowhere. Or at least I thought I got out of it. What happened was I found out that it wasn't about what I could do, but what Christ could do through me. It wasn't about my performance, but what God performed in me.  But yet I found myself under a new kind of spell. New to me, anyway.

See, I became confident that indeed it wasn't about my works, but about God working in me. I was confident that without Christ I could do nothing, and I could do all things through Christ who gave me strength. Yeah! With God's grace I could overcome everything and finally have complete victory in all areas of life! But unfortunately all of this was being mixed together with a very fatal teaching. Oooh, is it a bad mixture! It was mixed together with the constant teaching of principles for Christian living.

Every week a new set of principles was taught. Yay, a new set of principles to apply to my grace life! Ok, not yay. One week it was 8 principles of giving. Then 5 principles for a godly marriage. Then 6 principles to use in the workplace. Then the 7 "R's" of Relationships. Then there were all the "how to's." "How to worship." "How to love your kids." "How to overcome anger." On and on it went. Every week, new Christian principles to live by.

And here's the thing. Just as Tom Petty had nothing against Joe Piscopo or Eddie Murphy - and probably even loved them! - it wasn't so much that all these "principles" were completely bad. It's not that some of these teachings of practical living weren't biblical. (Well, some of them I questioned). But the problem was that I was being JAMMED with principles! I sincerely wanted to be a good husband. I sincerely wanted to get my finances in order. I sincerely wanted to love God with all my being. It wouldn't be a bad thing if some of these "principles" were reflected in my daily living.

But man! Give me some room to breathe! Give me some time to grow! Quit Jammin' Me! Let's take one or two of these things, and let's sit down over coffee, and let's talk it out.  Let's take some time. What's the rush?

Am I the only one, or can anyone relate?

What are the "principles of the world?"

What do you think of when you think of "the world?"

Gal 4:3-5
3 Even so we, when we were children, were in bondage under the elements of the world. 4 But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, 5 to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.

Col 2:8-10, 20-23
8 Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ. 9 For in --> Him <-- dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; 10 and you are complete in --> Him <--, who is the head of all principality and power.

20 Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations — 21 "Do not touch , do not taste, do not handle," 22 which all concern things which perish with the using — according to the commandments and doctrines of men? 23 These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion, false humility, and neglect of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh.

I can't help but say that much of the preaching I hear these days is worldly preaching.

What sayest thou? :D

The letter of the New Testament - Part 4 - Conclusion

I know I posted 3 fairly long posts on this already, and I pretty much figured that Part 3 was the final post on this subject, but I keep thinking of one of the underlying reasons that all of this means so much to me, and so I'll just go ahead and share it. I've posted my story before, so some of this won't be new to some of you.

I mentioned something in the comments of Lydia's "Spurring On" post that would probably shock a lot of people... but it's something that is true as true can be. I said, "My marriage was hurt... by Biblical marriage principles!"

Gasp!

I'll try to explain. It's not that the words about marriage in the New Testament are bad or wrong. It's just that I had unwittingly replaced Christ with marriage principles when it came to wanting to have a great marriage. See, there was a period in my marriage in which I thought I didn't love my wife. And the sad thing is that this all happened long after I had begun to be firmly established in grace. My problem was that grace and biblical principles had become letter to me, rather than me seeing them and understanding them in the light of life.

I saw many areas in my marriage in which I felt I was falling short. Well, actually, I was "doing" a lot of good things that a Christian husband "should" do, but in the long run it was really out of either "duty" or out of an attempt to try to be a good husband, whether it came from a heart of love or not. So much of this became duty and not delight, that I began to think that I didn't really love my wife. "I'm just faking it," I thought. "Sure, I want to do things to please my wife, but what good is any of it if all I'm really doing is going through the motions."

I was looking at things through the wrong eyes. My beautiful, loving wife - and my marriage as a whole - had become more of a "project" for me to work on, rather than the relationship and union that it's meant to be. Ok... not that marriage doesn't involve work! Any amen's? :D But instead of viewing my marriage through the eyes of grace, I was viewing it through the eyes of living by marriage principles.

Like I said, I was actually "doing" a lot of good things, at least as I saw it. However, something was festering beneath the surface and I didn't quite know what it was. No matter how much "good" I was doing, I always felt like I fell short. The reason, as I've come to now see it, is because of the constant preaching and teaching of biblical marriage principles! I would go to church and hear principles for Christian living. I would turn on Christian radio and I would hear principles. I would go to my small group and hear principles. I couldn't go anywhere without hearing "this is how a husband should treat his wife," and "husbands, we need to be doing this or doing that for our wives..." I can't say enough, it's all good stuff! But the constant preaching and teaching of it all was very overwhelming - especially when God's grace was only mentioned in passing, rather than being taught as the foundation for the Christian life that it is. I felt that just as I was achieving victory in a certain area, I'd find that I'm so far away in other areas from being this wonderful "biblical" husband that I want to be.

Finally, something happened that got the light of true victory shining again. We went to see a counselor who really helped me see my folly. I really had resisted going to a counselor, because I thought all I would hear would be more principles! But in short, this man listened a lot, and in the end he said one word to me that turned everything around and gave me the right perspective again.

That word was "identity." My whole problem was that rather than living out of my true Identity in Christ… the New Creation that I truly am, in which Christ is my life… I was trying to be all the things that I thought I was supposed to be for my wife! I can hear the gasps of legalists now. :) But all I can say is that it wasn't working and it never will work!

We may have a nice, shiny appearance on the outside that makes us look as if we're really doing well at "living the Christian life," but on the inside we're dying, because we're living by letter and not by Christ's life.

Grace is the essence of the Christian life. "Doing" is not the essence of the Christian life. Rather, "doing" is the fruit of resting in grace, and growing in grace! As Lydia says in her post that I linked to, we need to be constantly encouraged in grace. As we submerse ourselves into pure grace and into God's unconditional love, we will find that we don't have to "try" to live the Christian life, but that the life of Christ in us cannot help but overflow into our doing. Anytime we go back to "trying," we quench the Spirit of grace and we find ourselves going backwards and not forward.

I see my wife with such different eyes today. That day - the day when the counselor said "identity" - I knew things would be different forever! See, I had taught grace. I had lived a life of grace, to a big extent. I could share grace doctrine and I could encourage people in who they are in Christ. But in a big sense I had backslidden. I had fallen from grace in my marriage. To fall from grace means to start trying to live by law and rules again, rather than by grace! That day, I repented of "trying" and I began trusting again. I changed my mind about how this marriage was going to be lived out.

Can you understand how "marriage principles" hurt my marriage? They became New Testament letter to me and they did what letter does... "kill." Life has now replaced letter. The New Testament exhortations and commands are wonderful reminders to us of what Life in Christ looks like. But if our lives become a matter of simply studying them week after week, and trying to live by them, we can very easily miss out on real Life.

--------------------------------------------
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4