Even keel

I remember the days when I couldn't wait for the Sunday morning and Sunday evening services because it was during those services that I "felt" God more. In fact it seemed like it was pretty much only during those services that I "felt" God, and I didn't really "feel" Him during the rest of my week as I went about my daily living "outside of church." There was something about the atmosphere - the music leader, the singers, and especially the music itself - that made me "feel" closer to God.

Sometimes there were special times of prayer, in which some or many of us would go up front near "the altar" and cry out to God, presenting our requests to Him, often praying in tongues. Often during these times I would "feel" the presence of God and I would "feel" as if all my worries were gone and my problems were done away with. I might then "feel" good all day on Sunday. But by the time Monday came around and reality set in, I had lost the "feeling," and I was left looking sooooo forward to the next Sunday so I could go and meet with God again and "feel" His presence.

The key words above, if you couldn't tell, are "feel" and "felt." Now I don't want to diminish the idea of feeling close to God. It's a great thing to feel close to Him! But so many of those experiences from my past were really nothing more than emotional releases that I got from being around other like-minded people, and also, like I said, the emotions came from the atmosphere that was created by the musicians and stage settings. When I was away from those services, I could no longer "feel" God. I "felt" so far away from Him. As I look back, it's easy for me to now see that it wasn't really the presence of God that I was feeling. It was the atmosphere of the service that I was feeling, and I was mistaking that for the presence of God. "Rollercoaster ride" is probably the best term that described my life in Christ at that time. Up and down, up and down - but mostly down.

In the mid 90's, when I finally began to understand the grace and faithfulness of God, and His continuous, never-ending presence in my life that wasn't dependent upon me going to some church meeting, or reaching some high level of prayer or praise or thanksgiving or anything else, or trying to find some way to "break through" to His presence, I was finally able to begin to describe my life with a much different term. "Even keel" was how I felt and was how I described my life, and it's pretty much remained that way! I don't mean to say that I don't have changing emotions or that the circumstances of life are always "even keel." Storms do indeed come and go, and my emotions do waver from time to time. But in my relating to God, I've come to understand and know that I am one with Him, and He is steadfast and He is an anchor. He has never left me nor forsaken me. I can't ask Him to please come and be in the presence of me and my fellow saints, because that would be asking Him to do something that He's already presently doing! In fact, not only is He "with" me, He is my life. Sunday morning, Sunday evening, Tuesday afternoon, 4am on Friday, church service, no church service, whenever, wherever, He is in me and I am in Him, and He is my very life. When I finally realized that the pressure wasn't upon ME to maintain God's presence, but that His presence and His grace was a gift that always remained with me, my life finally became much more even keeled.

By the way, I don't mean to say that it's a bad thing for the saints to gather together and "be" in God's presence together. It's great to be together as a family, relating to God and to each other in various ways. But "worship" is really a lifestyle of relating to God and to each other, not just in church meetings, and not really having anything to do with atmosphere, emotions, or the performance of a praise band. Aida gets into a lot of this in What is true worship?

What I'm really trying to say here is that I think we miss God in the everyday things because we're waiting to "meet with Him" in the big meeting(s). In reality, He is our life at all times!

Is this type of thinking/understanding important to you? Has your life 'changed' in any way like mine (or in your own unique way) through coming to understand and appropriate God's 24/7 presence in your life?

Too much emphasis on "church"

Once again the great comments from others (this time on my last post, What people are saying about "church") have led to another blog post!

Alvin's (Walking Church) comments, as well as Aida's follow-up, were similar to what I had in mind when I commented on Aida's Jesus is building His church post, but I lost track of my thoughts and didn't say it. Basically: I think it's true that for some people, especially today's younger generation, phoniness and dung (more specifically, that found in "church") can be smelled a mile away.

My only hope is that people who sense all of that stuff will not have been so turned off by "church" that they decide "to heck with it all," but rather that they would sort through it all, by the Holy Spirit, with a true desire to be a part of a true, living, vibrant community. Along with what Alvin says on his Blogger profile, I hope they don't throw out the gospel with the bath water.

I truly do think the internet is playing a huge part in connecting people together. Well, I don't 'think' it, I know it! I'm part of it, along with all of you. Not that a "gathering together" on the internet through websites, blogs, forums, etc, is the be-all-end-all by any means - but neither is a local gathering! In fact it's to the contrary, isn't it? (Please bear with me, as during the past year or two I've been sorting out all kinds of new thoughts. Well, some of them are new thoughts and some of them are thoughts I've had for a long time but I'm finally beginning to see them become more than thoughts).

On Alan Knox's "Assembling" blog, he wrote a post called "Gathering suggests dispersal," in which he suggests, in a nutshell, that "a gathering or an assembly, by its nature, suggests a dispersal." He goes on to say, "The people of God gather because, in general, they are not assembled - they are dispersed." Read the full post to see how Alan defines "church," as well as to get his thoughts on the purpose of the gathering, and even more importantly, the dispersal. (I should have included this as a link on my last post).

In our modern church culture we seem to focus too much on the gathering, in my opinion. The "worship," the service, the sermon, the programs. "Bring people HERE, to this place - to 'our church,' and we'll get 'em saved, delivered and healed."

The gathering is important, and it's not that a traditional church service can't include any of this! Man, I've seen a LOT of great, true, genuine LIFE happen in church services. In other words, I've seen Jesus express His life in other people and I've seen Jesus express His life through me, all within the context of a "church service" and through various "church programs."

But we place so much emphasis on the structure and timing of the gathering, and on planning what happens during the gathering, and on who's in charge during the gathering, and in finding our place to "serve" within the organized church structure, and in essentially making our gathering into a performance or a show, that I think we lose sight of true worship, true service, true community, true discipleship - all of which can and does happen outside of the context of an organized church / church structure.

The building of the church (the people of God) can be done without the building and the church (system, building, programs). It can be and is done anytime Jesus is the Life and Director and Pastor of whatever He is doing in His church!

I don't mean at all to knock legitimate fellowship and community that is taking place in traditional churches. Even 'contemporary' traditional churches. :) Jesus is alive and well wherever He is alive and well! My hope, if anything, is to point out how we seem to have become so focused and dependent upon man-made programs and systems (however well-intentioned), and we've complacently called that "church," and have lost who we truly are as a widespread body with a much larger mission than gathering, and recruiting people into our gathering, and having a great "gathering experience."

I'd say we're a body that much more resembles a starfish than a spider. :)