You are who you are, not who you're not

I think I've shared this before on this blog, but these are notes I wrote down about 2 1/2 years ago. I was reading through some old stuff today and came across this.

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12/30/06 God doesn’t ask me to be “on fire” for Him. God doesn’t ask me to be “radical” for Him. Rather, before I was born again He told me I must die, and then He could come and raise me up to a brand new life and join His life with mine. So the life I now live is not a matter of me being radical or on fire for Him, but rather His radical life expressing itself through me – in whichever way He wills. The life I live in this earthsuit I live by faith. I most certainly don’t live by my own might or power or by my own attempts to live a powerful or radical life, or even a sincere, dedicated life. That sounds “unChristian,” I know! But as I let go of my own attempts at living any part of the Christian life, another Life takes over, with more power and dedication than I could ever come up with.

The gift of God that is in us, which Paul reminds Timothy to “fan into flame” (2 Tim 1:6), isn’t necessarily going to have an outward appearance that’s radical or sensational or impressive to other people, even to other Christians. Understand, I’m writing from the perspective of an introverted person who has tried in the past to live the extroverted, radical, effervescent Christian life, trying to prove to others that I’m “on fire” for God. I had faith – deep faith – and looking back, I can now see that my true faith was expressed in ways that weren’t always noticeable by others. But since I had come into a church culture that seemed to take greater notice of those with more visible and expressive demonstrations of faith, I prayed and tried very hard to have the same passion as others and for the Spirit to manifest Himself in me with the same sort of outward demonstration. Again, I now see that I really did have a deep faith, but at the time I didn’t think that was true. I wondered when the time would ever come that my faith would grow and I could truly be more expressive with my faith. When would I ever truly be “on fire” for God?

Thank God that I finally came to an understanding of who I really was. Or better said, I came to a better understanding of who Christ is in me.

The way that the life of God will be expressed in each of us individually will be different.
You can’t be what you’re not. Be who you are!

"Legacy" - Christ in me

For some reason I've been thinking about the Apostle Paul, and what he said he hoped people saw in him. You know how people talk about leaving a "legacy" - how they want to be remembered, or what they want to be remembered for? Paul, in his writings, did mention various places he had gone and specific deeds he had accomplished --- but I don't think it was so much those specific things that he wanted people to remember. Rather, what he boasted about - and what he hoped people had seen in him - was Christ, the Person, and the power of God that was at work in him.

In essence, I see Paul as saying, "Indeed I've worked hard! But take your eyes off of me and please see that anything and everything worthwhile that I've accomplished hasn't been me and isn't about me but is the result of God's grace and power, and the very life of Christ in me. Don't congratulate me or pat me on the back. Give praise to God!

Same here. No matter what I do in this life here on earth in this body, that's what I hope people see in me as well. The life of Christ. My works are going to be different than somebody else's works. I don't want people comparing my works with other people's works, nor comparing their works with my works. I think it's great for us to share the specific things that Christ's life is doing in and through us, but again, the specific things I do may look totally different than the specific things someone else does. If my works happen to have attention drawn to them, let it be so that it can be said, "Christ is living in and through Joel."

Works - Part 2 of 4

I don't believe that God created Adam and Eve (the first humans) and the rest of the human race for the purpose of living by instructions. In fact, wasn't it the tree of the knowledge of good and evil that God told Adam not to eat from? We all know what happened (sin entered the world, and death through sin), but as we fast-forward to the Cross, and the Resurrection of Jesus we see that Christ came to take away sin, and through faith in Christ, man can be restored to LIFE. Through faith, man now has righteousness, holiness, completeness, goodness. God has taken away the sinful spirit that we were born with in Adam and has given us a new spirit that is alive together with Christ. By faith, we can walk according to this newness of life.

Rom 6:4 Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

The "baptism" above isn't water baptism, but it's a death and burial of our old sinful nature - the spiritual person we were in Adam. It's now dead and gone, and we've been raised together with Christ into new life! The natural result of growing and maturing in who we now are in this new life is a life of goodness. And the growing process is lifelong. It's by no means instantaneous.

This new life - which is nothing less (or more) than the very life of Christ in us - is where holiness and goodness and righteousness and good works flow from. This new life - Christ-in-me - is the foundation of the Christian life.

It's not "me." It's "Christ in me!"

In Christ, I am righteous, I am holy (set apart), I am justified, and I am a whole lot more as well!

Why is it that I'm righteous, holy and justified, and a whole lot more?

Because it's not just "me." It's Christ in me! The old "me" died and I am now a new "me." Literally. I'm not an "improved" me, or a "better person."

I'm a brand new creation. The old me has not simply been "improved" upon. The old me is dead and gone. I've now been made alive together with Christ.

I just realized I've written about this before. Check out "New, or Improved?" from a year ago.

I don't live by faith in myself, or in becoming a better person. I live by faith in the Person who indwells me!

Gal 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

2 Cor 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Col 3:2-4
Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.

I don't live a life that is separate from Christ... ever! It's not a matter of "my" life sometimes and "my life in Christ" other times. My life is Christ in me, all the time!

Yep, be who you are

I'm amazed at the things God does in our lives to confirm His word to us, and to encourage us in it. My last post, "Be yourself - You can't be what you're not," was essentially a matter of me preaching to myself. I needed to be encouraged to be who I am. It's easy for me, as I know it is for others, to slip off into that people-pleasing mode and into the lifeless mode of faking a religious life rather than living by the fullness of the life of the indwelling Christ.

I was browsing through my past personal notes a few minutes ago and I sat there with my eyes wide open and my jaw almost to the floor as I read something I had written over a year ago that soooo relates to all this! I have not read this since that time, as far as I remember. What caught my attention in re-reading this was the very last sentence (see the end of the quoted section below). It's a phrase that's been woven into my life and it has served for many years to keep me focused on who I am and not on who I'm not!

12/30/06

"God doesn’t ask me to be “on fire” for Him. God doesn’t ask me to be “radical” for Him. Rather, before I was born again He told me I must die, and then He could come and raise me up to a brand new life and join His life with mine. So the life I now live is not a matter of me being radical or on fire for Him, but rather His radical life expressing itself through me – in whichever way He wills. The life I live in this earthsuit I live by faith. I most certainly don’t live by my own might or power or by my own attempts to live a powerful or radical life, or even a sincere, dedicated life. That sounds “unChristian” to many people, I know! But as I let go of my own attempts at living any part of the Christian life, another Life takes over, with more power and dedication than I could ever come up with.

The gift of God that is in us, which Paul reminds Timothy to “fan into flame” (2 Tim 1:6), isn’t necessarily going to have an outward appearance that’s radical or sensational or impressive to other people, even to other Christians. Understand, I’m writing from the perspective of an introverted person who has tried in the past to live the extroverted, radical, effervescent Christian life, trying to prove to others that I’m “on fire” for God. I had faith – deep faith – and looking back, I can now see that my true faith was expressed in ways that weren’t always noticeable by others.

But since I had come into a church culture that seemed to take greater notice of those with more visible and expressive demonstrations of faith, I prayed and tried very hard to have the same passion as others and for the Spirit to manifest Himself in me with the same sort of outward demonstration. Again, I now see that I really did have a deep faith, but at the time I didn’t think that was true. I wondered when the time would ever come that my faith would grow and I could truly be more expressive with my faith. When would I ever truly be “on fire” for God?

Thank God that I finally came to an understanding of who I really was. Or better said, I came to a better understanding of who Christ is in me.

The way that the life of God will be expressed in each of us individually will be different.

You can’t be what you’re not."

Back to the present. I was watching Joseph Prince on TV last night. He is a great encourager in our identity in Christ and in God's love for us. Watching him, I was tempted to think such thoughts as, "Man, I'd love to get out there and preach like him. He says all the stuff I'd love to say to people and he has such a friendly and outgoing personality that easily draws people in to listen to what he has to say."

But I quickly shook off those thoughts because I am not Joseph Prince. I am not Billy Graham. I am not (fill in the blank). I can't be what I'm not and I don't want to be what I'm not! If I live my life focused on wanting to be like anyone else - which really is nothing less than envy - then I miss out on being who I am. Can I let someone else's personality rub off on me? Sure! Can I learn about myself by watching the "ways" of other people? Definitely! When I was new in radio (14 years ago), I listened to a lot of other DJ's on the radio and in a sense I tried to copy a lot of their styles. But eventually I found out what was "me" and what was not "me" and I developed my own way of communicating with others over the airwaves.

Today I watch other dads interacting with their kids. I watch my coworkers doing their work. I pay attention to the styles of other writers. Many times I glean great things from others by watching them. But in the end... I am what I am and that's all that I am, and you are who you are! And that's good!

Be yourself - You can't be what you're not

Last night we had student-led Parent-Teacher conferences with both our kids. The teachers helped the students prepare the materials, and each student then sat down with their teacher and parents and led the individual conferences. During our conference with our 4th grade son, Jared, he read a story to us that he'd written during class. His teacher pointed out to us how the entire story developed from Jared's own personality and imagination. He told us that he encourages Jared to write about:

1) What he cares about
2) What he knows about
3) What he understands.

He motioned towards all the books in the room and he said that each author doesn't sit down and decide to write just for the purpose of making money, but they write because it is stuff that they care about, know about and understand.

If I were to condense this concept into a simple phrase, it would be "be yourself." Write about what you are passionate about and don't force yourself to write about things that don't interest you. Other interests and passions may develop as you write about what is naturally on your heart and mind, but don't try to be what you're not.

All of this applies to much more than writing, obviously! Whoever you are, whatever you do... be who you are. In Christ, you have become a new person. You are free to be who that person is! I'm reminded of a line from a song that hugely impacted me back in my early Christian life when I was very confused about who I was and what I was to do with my life. The band's name was Fighter* and they had a song called Your Hand. The chorus went like this:

Your hand is on me
Wherever I go I just look around and know
Your hand is on me
Through the rich times
And through uncertainty...

And the line from the song that absolutely melted my heart one day and began the process of clearing up a lot of my confusion went like this:

You use the things God gave you
You can't be what you're not.

I remember crying unrestrained tears of release and a sense of overflowing joy on the day when those words came alive to me. I had been confused by a lot of preaching (as well-intentioned as the preachers may have been) that told me I was supposed to do this and I was supposed to do that, and that a good Christian should do this act of service and should do that act of worship. My own mind was consumed with pondering all the things I should be doing as a Christian, and I was simply overwhelmed.

But I can't be what I'm not! However, I can be what I am! Put another way, I can do nothing apart from Christ, and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. That doesn't mean I can do "everything." It just means that I can be and do, through Christ, whatever it is that God has made for me to be and to do. He has placed all of this inside me in the form of desires and passions, gifts and abilities, and ultimately His very life in me. It's not up to me to force myself to have certain spiritual desires and passions, nor to do every spiritual-looking work that I can think of.

Here's a tiny example of what I mean, from my own life. During the more intense time in my life in which I was "discovering" who I was in Christ, I had a sincere desire to help people. I thought perhaps if I became a nurse, I would really have an opportunity to help lots of people. In order to "test the waters" of the nursing field I took a month-long nursing assistant course and I went to work in a nursing home (for only a week). I then worked with a quadriplegic man in his home for a couple of months and then I finally ended up working as a nursing assistant at a hospital. It didn't take long for me to discover that I hated this type of work! I had lots of compassion for the patients, but yet I did not like that type of hands-on work and there's no way I could do that type of work for the rest of my life! I can't be what I'm not.

Since that time, I've had plenty of other experiences in which I've dabbled in "good" things that aren't "me," and over a period of time I've discovered who I really am in Christ, and I continue to learn who I am, and to live it out. I'm not talking about living a purpose driven life. I'm talking about an intimate Spirit-led life. I'm talking about not going with the "flow" of the rest of the church if who you are isn't what they think you are or want you to be. I've "done my time" in various church settings in which I've served in capacities that simply are not "me." That is, Christ-in-me. They've certainly been things that have looked good to man, and have even been beneficial to others at times, but in reality are not the works that God created for me to walk in. They are works that man has created for me to walk in. In the church today, there are plenty of these man-made works!

I'm sure you've heard the old church saying that goes something like, "10% of the people in the church are doing 90% of the work." Could the reason perhaps be because so much of the work that is created by the church is man-made work and not Spirit-led work? What if the church would stop... and simply trust that Jesus is building His Church (not a church or churches), and would stop coming up with programs and activities that, while having a nice spiritual appearance, are really keeping people from walking in the works that God has prepared beforehand for them to walk in (Eph 2:10).

And so my continuous encouragement to myself (and to others) is, "be yourself." I'll be completely honest with you. I'm one of the 90% who is not going along with all of the busy work that others in the church are complaining about having to do alone! And no, I'm not a rebel! I mean, my reason for not going along with them is not because I have a rebellious attitude against the spiritual-looking work they would have me do. My reason is simply because those things are not ME!

I am "being" who I am, not what others think I should be. Sometimes people look down on me because "myself" is not what they want out of me. Other times, people look up to me because "myself" looks very good to them. But either way, I don't care what others think of me! I'm not out to please them, nor to fulfill their agendas. I'm not even out to fulfill my own agenda. I'm simply out for a long walk with my Father!

"I am what I am and that's all that I am."
- Popeye

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*Fighter was a local Christian band that influenced me in my young 20's. They no longer exist as a band, and the members have each gone on to other things. Amy Wolter, one of the lead singers, is one of my myspace friends. Anyway, the band had an excellent album called Bang the Drum, and last July 4th I posted the lyrics to the title song in a post called Bang the Drum - Let your freedom ring! The previous July, I had also written an article about the song. This is a knock-out song that pulls no punches against legalism and legalists!