God's Great Love - The Kry - I Know Everything About You

I've noticed something about myself in recent years that has changed dramatically as I've grown in grace. In the song below, which I first heard probably in 1994, the lyrics go, "I know everything about you but I still love you." Those are great, encouraging, assuring words to any Christian about God's unconditional agape love. This song also has a very encouraging message about the finished work of Christ and God's never-changing love.

But what's changed for me - and I don't mean to be a stickler but this is just reality - is that I would change "but I still" to "and." "I know everything about you and I love you." No need to add "but I still..." In other words, God's love and grace that my heart has been growing deeper in, has convinced me of His love without Him having to convince me nearly as much as before that "even when I mess up He 'still' loves me." I know that all my actions don't line up with the reality of who I truly am in Him, but the issue of His love and acceptance of me has been resolved over the years. ALL of it is based upon His unconditional love and the finished work of Christ!

...Every priest stands daily ministering and offering time after time the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins; but (Jesus), having offered one sacrifice for sins for all time, sat down at the right hand of God, waiting from that time onward until His enemies be made a footstool for His feet. For by one offering He has perfected for all time those who are sanctified. Heb 10:11-14 NASB

I was bought for a price. I didn't pay the price. He did! There's nothing that I've ever done or will ever do that adds to or cancels His purchase. Again, I'm the one who's been redeemed. He's the one who paid the price. Let's keep that straight! Even when we were still sinners, even when we were still His enemies, Christ died for us and reconciled us to God (Rom 5:8,10). It's through nothing we've done. Only His love and work has accomplished this! We did nothing to accomplish any of this. He did it all! MUCH was accomplished on the cross and with the burial and resurrection of Jesus. "MUCH" is a huge understatement!

And so if I was a sinner and His enemy when He did all this because of His great love and grace, who am I to question or even make it an issue of whether or not He still loves me! Of course He does! Nothing I ever did made Him love me, and even being a sinner and an enemy didn't keep Him from loving me. I can see why a sinner and an enemy might question God's unconditional love (even thought they don't have to!), but now that I've died as a sinner and an enemy and have been raised again as a brand new creation, to a brand new Life, joined together with Him, having been justified and having peace with God through the blood of Jesus, why would I ever think there's reason to question His great love?

The Kry - I Know Everything About You


Bought with a price
Nothing you've done
It's a gift to you
My love is unconditional

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Each time you fall
Look to the sky
It won't change My love for you
It won't change My mind

Lift your head up
You will always be Mine
My grace for you
Will last until the end of time

Nothing Can Separate Us From God, Who IS Love

The New Testament writers point out that nothing can separate us from God's love and that God is love. So... what can separate us from God Himself? Nothing! God's love is unconditional - it has no conditions. He loves us. Period. He showed it to us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us - the ungodly. Somehow some people have gotten the idea that now that we're Christians, the things we do or don't do will keep us from God. But nothing can separate us from God! Nothing can separate us from His love! His perfect love should cast aside all fears and worries that we'll ever have our fellowship with Him broken. Through His love and by the finished work of Christ - and by nothing we've done or not done - we remain in perfect, unbroken fellowship with God.

gigcast.graceroots.org

The Nature of God video and mp3

This was sent to me by a friend and it was also posted on her Facebook profile. I listened to the mp3 this past Sunday morning while in my van at work. I think I'll be listening to this over and over again in the future. It's simply filled with wonderful reminders of the good news. The kindness of God. The faithfulness of God. The love of God. The consistency of God and yet the unpredictability of God. The ever-presence of God. So many things about the wonderful nature of God.

The mp3 can be downloaded here: The Nature of God

Eric Champion - Endless

Oh, My love is endless
I'll be with you for eternity
My love is endless
Never failing, everlasting
Endless love

Third Day - Forever

Your grace is never gonna change
And Your faith, it always will remain
And Your love is the same yesterday, today and forever...

Grace and Love

Latest GIGCAST is up. This week we talk a little more about how "grace" is not simply one subject of many, but is the essence of every aspect of the Christian life and we talk about the biblical idea of what it means to have fallen from grace by going back to trusting in our own works. Along with all this, we talk about how God's unconditional love cannot be separated from His grace, and how growing in our understanding of God's love can change our entire mindset of who He is and who we are in Him.

gigcast.graceroots.org

Rooted in love and grace - Participation solicitation!

Please read to the end... I'm asking for input from YOU!

About a month ago I wrote a blog post called Even Keel, in which I explained how the Lord had steadied me in my relationship with Him through growing in understanding His faithfulness, love and grace in my life. In response to that post, I received this message from a woman:

I'm reading your post on even-keeled and just struck by it... so I wanted to personally jot a message rather than comment. It overwhelmed me - to the point of tears, actually.

I have been sooooo up and down spiritually.... I always know I love God, I always know God loves me... but I get so defeated in the Christian life... I don't pray enough, I don't give enough, I'm too selfish....

Yet, I know it isn't about what I do, but about what Christ has done.

I want [my daughter] to grow up knowing that - and to have it deeply inbedded in her.... and yet, I don't get it. I get caught up in the legalism that has plagued me my entire life...

What got you from being caught up to fully understanding rooted and established in Grace. I get so frustrated, because even when I hear you and Kap talk on the program, I am still thinking "but what about.... (fill in any legalistic thing we are supposed to do)" I don't want to be there. I don't want to waver back-and-forth with the feeling of God's presence or not feeling... or all that - I want it deeply imbedded. In fact, even in saying this I'm wondering what I can DO to make this happen....

Anyway - thoughts?

I replied back and shared some thoughts about the process through which I began to get rooted and grounded in God's love and grace, and about how I'm still growing. I then asked for permission to share her words because I think that a whole ton of people can relate to all this, and perhaps I could use her words to ask what other people think.

So let's have it! What do you think? Have you been through any of this? Are you going through any of this now? What has your experience been? What have you struggled with, or what has hindered you? How have you overcome? How has the Lord established you in His grace? Do you have words that can possibly help others as they desire to get out of legalism and be rooted and established in God's love and grace?

Whether you are a "lurker" here, or someone who comments a little, or a lot, this is open to you. (Also, feel free to spread the word). If you'd like to share, my thoughts are that you could either share some brief thoughts in the comments section here - or write about it on your own blog or website and link to it here. Go in whatever direction your heart takes you. This isn't about "right answers." The main thing that I'm personally thinking about is encouraging one another in growing in God's grace, as well as sharing honest struggles and victories that we have along the way. Maybe we can all help each other out.

Depending upon the amount of activity this does or doesn't generate, I'll tentatively plan on gathering together the comment highlights as well as the links to other blogs, in another blog post here in a couple of weeks.

What we need, not what we deserve

The story below happened after midnight on this day twenty years ago (October 2, 1988 - approximately half my life ago). It's not exactly a "prodigal son returns home and is thrown a party" story, but it is a true happening in my life that would eventually play a part in helping me to understand the grace and love of God.

(I first posted this here).

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It’s a Saturday night in October of 1988. I’m 19 years old, and I’m ready to go have some fun! I’m grabbing some friends and we’re going road-tripping down the highways and back roads surrounding my hometown of Waverly. But what kind of fun would it be without a case of beer and a two bottles of Mad Dog 20/20? It seemed like the perfect touch to an evening of fun and laughter – until…

Our fun and laughter ended up in fear and screaming after my inattentive eyes missed a “curve ahead” road sign on the gravel road. Amazingly - and thankfully - this part of the story ends with no one getting seriously hurt. In fact, as all our friends drove by the following day to view my totaled car which had been towed from the ditch in which it had landed upside down, they marveled that we were alive at all.

But the most amazing part of this story is yet to come. Something which has impacted me in a far greater way. And it all centers around grace. Back up to the previous year. My pastor-dad and mom had gone beyond their means to purchase this car for me so I would have wheels while I was 100 miles away at college. When I dropped out after only 4 months my parents were undoubtedly disappointed but they graciously welcomed me back home and granted me the continued use of the car and all the other benefits of being a son. I sure had a fine way of showing them how thankful I was, eh.

After sitting with my buddy in the local jail overnight, we were released early Sunday morning. We walked across the river, viewed my smashed up “college” car for the last time and then I slowly and hesitantly walked home, not exactly eager to face my parents. My mom was standing in the kitchen, getting ready for church. I didn’t know what to say. I’m sure my parents were angry. I’m sure they were deeply disappointed. I’m sure they weren’t even sure what to think or say. But five words came out of my mom’s mouth which would eventually have more of an impact on my relationship with God than I ever would have imagined at the time. “We’re just glad you’re ok.”

Disappointment and anger were probably only the beginning of the flood of emotions mom and dad were having, and add to that the fear and worry about their seemingly messed-up son’s future. But whatever dismal thoughts may have been going through their minds, there was something else on the inside of my parents which superseded all of it. Their main concern was to let me know I was loved. They most certainly had every right to go all off on me and let me know how I had let them down, and those thoughts probably tempted them more than I’ll ever know. My neck deserved a good wringing. But they didn’t give me what I deserved. They gave me what I needed.

They confirmed to me that I was still their son. The deafening silence - there were no long talks, no sermons, no preaching – spoke to me more than anything else could have. That said, I still had a lot of growing to do, and it’s not as if I didn’t push the limits from time to time. My life was by no means instantly transformed at the time. It wasn’t until a few years down the line that this experience spoke even more clearly to me about the love of my parents – and the love of God.

I came to a stage in life when I was beginning to learn more about the grace of God – His favor and blessing which is given to me freely, which I have done nothing to earn, and in fact which is given to me despite the fact that the absolute total of what I have “earned” really only amounts to death and condemnation. One day I was thinking about this time in my past when I had been given what I didn’t deserve by my parents. Suddenly the magnitude of how they had responded to my needs rather than reacted to my actions hit me like a ton of bricks and I was swept up in a huge emotional wave. My experience from the past provided me with a clear picture of a loving Father who gives grace to those who need it, not to those who deserve it. And for perhaps the first time in my life I truly appreciated the immeasurable freedom and grace which had been given to me over the years by my earthly parents and my Heavenly Father.

I don’t want to imply that the way my parents treated this matter was the only way. I can’t guarantee that when both my kids become teenagers, my wife and I will respond in the same way to their misdeeds! I hope and pray that by the Spirit of God in us, we’ll raise them with godly love, grace and discipline. But what’s really wonderful is that we have a Father who always knows exactly how to treat us. The good news is that while He is well aware of our faults, He is much more interested in providing for us what we need rather than what we deserve. He proved it with the Cross.

Deep calls to deep

Psalm 42:7-8
Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls;
All Your waves and billows have gone over me.
The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime,
And in the night His song shall be with me —
A prayer to the God of my life.

Margaret Becker - Deep Calling Deep

How can we give what we don't (know we) have?

Apostle Paul: "I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height — to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." (Eph 3:14-19)

Apostle John: "In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (1 John 4:9-11)

Artist Tony Vincent: "I can't make You love me more; No matter how I try; Your grace alone can justify; That kind of love just mystifies... I can't make You love me more; Can't impress You with my deeds; I can't make You love me less; That kind of love is what I need." (Song: Out of My Hands).

In the process of going through some of my notes-to-self from June, I saw that I had referred myself to a Growing in Grace program, "Rooted and Grounded in Love," in which my friend and cohost Mike Kapler had said the following:

"If I haven't received an abundance of finances... I can't give a lot of money. If I haven't understood, or received, the love that God has for me - His unconditional love - how can I love others unconditionally, if I haven't yet understood what it's like to be loved unconditionally?"

The truth is, we do have the love of God, and we are in the unconditional love and grace of God! It's true, whether we comprehend it or acknowledge it or realize it or not! But... if we don't know it - if we're not rooted and grounded and established in it, and if we don't really know and understand how much God loves us - the width, the length, the depth, the height - of God's love... if we don't know that ourselves, then how can we give it?

If we don't truly know God's love, then Paul's prayer is a good one to pray for ourselves and for others. Forget trying to conform to a certain lifestyle or Christlikeness. How's that even possible if you don't know His love? God, let us know the width, the length, the depth, the height of your love!

"Love" in 1 Corinthians 13 (Part 1)

Another post that I've have in draft mode that I decided to just go ahead and publish. I hurt my back on Sunday morning and I haven't felt like sitting at the computer for long periods of time, so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to get some of the pre-written drafts cleared out! (By the way, my "Whatever the law says..." series is on automatic pilot, scheduled to be posted daily for a few days).
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Throughout my life, "the love chapter" (1 Corinthians 13, specifically vss. 4-8) has been one of, if not the most quoted passage of scripture I've ever heard (perhaps second to John 3:16). The setting is usually a wedding, or else a sermon that's based in one way or another on "how to love."

But during the past dozen years or so I've seen a handful of people look at this passage from another angle - an angle that has really helped me to grow in my understanding of God's love - and I'd simply like to pass along some of what I've gleaned out of all of it. "Love," in 1 Corinthians 13, is the Greek word agapē (ag-ah'-pay). I've heard lots of definitions of agapē, but one thing that is done in 1 Corinthians 13 is that agapē is actually described. It shows what agapē-love looks like in action.

Ok, well that by itself might not be new news to anyone. In fact, the many "how to love" sermons I've heard have generally been based upon the idea that 1 Corinthians 13 shows Christians "how they should behave" (how they should love). Paul is indeed saying that as a Christian, I can do all kinds of things - speak in tongues, have the gift of prophecy, can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, have faith that moves mountains, surrender my body to be burned, etc - but if I don't have love, I'm nothing.

But here's the thing. Does a Christian automatically know and understand God's love? A Christian is complete in God, and the love of God has come into the Christian and is integrated into their new identity, but does it work itself out automatically? Can a Christian simply "work on" these things as a matter of "principles" to follow in order to love people? I don't know about you, but as I read 1 Corinthians 13, and set out to "try" to do these things, I really only end up in failure. It's simply something that all the "trying" of my flesh will never be able to accomplish!

John says, "In this is love (agapē), not that we loved (agapē-d) God but that He loved (agapē-d) us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved (agapē-d) us, we also ought to love (agapē) one another" (1 John 4:10-11). The thing is... with all the rules and principles and legalism and religion out there, and with the huge external (fleshly) focus on "doing the stuff," people may be learning how to do the stuff without actually knowing God's love. They know they're "saved by grace," but yet they don't have a clue about God's love. The love of God is actually in them, but they are so focused on the externals (the flesh, "doing the stuff") that they don't know the power and love that's in them!

John also said "God is love" (God is agapē). As we see Paul describing agapē in 1 Corinthians 13, he is not only showing us what our love for others can look like, but what the love (agapē) of God looks like! In fact, unless we know God's agapē (and unless we know God as agapē), we're going to always continue to have a really hard time (an impossible time) with all our "trying" to agapē people! And so I've looked at this passage during the past dozen years or so from the perspective of seeing what God is like.

If 1 Corinthians 13 shows us what agapē looks like, and how it's demonstrated, and if God is agapē, then isn't this a good look at what God is like? And if God wants us to agapē people in these ways, is He not going to first demonstrate it Himself? In other words, can we not look at 1 Corinthians 13 as a demonstration of God's love?

I believe the first person I heard this whole idea from was my pastor in the late 90's. Then, over the years my friend Mike (with whom I record the Growing in Grace program) has talked with me about it and has also brought it up on our program from time to time. He and I had the same pastor, so I'm sure he got this idea from the same place as I did. In recent months and years, I've heard Paul Anderson-Walsh sharing about it, as well as Darin Hufford. From what I understand, Darin talks about this in his book "The God's Honest Truth" (which I haven't read, but I know several of you have) and he talked about it in this "The God Journey" podcast (14MB download). I believe I've also seen this idea on a blog or two in the past year, but I can't remember specifically which one(s).

More on this in Part 2, and I'll also look at the various descriptions of God's agapē in action from 1 Cor 13.

Alive

Look over there. The tomb is empty. The body is not there. It has risen. It is alive again!

I'm not talking about Jesus 2000 years ago. I'm talking about YOU right now!

YOU are alive! Why do you keep living as if you were still dead!

Are you still trying to eek out an existence through the letter of the law? Why not fully trust in and embrace the life given FREELY by the Spirit through the new covenant?

2 Cor 3:4-6
And we have such trust through Christ toward God. 5 Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, 6 who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

Rom 8:32
He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?

Col 2:13-15
And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, 14 having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross. 15 Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it.

Eph 2:1-10
And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, 2 in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, 3 among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.

4 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Col 3:3-4
For you died, and your life [your new life] is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.

Painting God mad

Great post on "Stuff Christians Like" this morning. It's called "#253. Painting God mad."

The world... including far too many Christians... has an image of God as an angry, vengeful, mean old man, just waiting to "get ya" for the bad things you do and forcing you into conforming into good little boys and girls, and what I think this does is that it keeps people running away from God rather than running to Him.

"Prodigal Jon" talks about some of that in this post, and addresses a comment from a previous post in which someone had used an Old Testament example to try to instill the "fear of God" into him. It's a good read, and I won't give away any of the details of the post except to say that, of course, everything changed with CHRIST!

Matthew West - More

Do you really know how much God loves you?

What question do you think Jesus will ask you on judgment day?

What did you do for me? How did you live? Were you faithful? Did you go to church? Did you serve Me? Did you love Me? Did you do everything I asked of you?

Brennan Manning has a different thought. The question he's convinced Jesus will ask has absolutely nothing to do with what we've done or haven't done. It has to do with whether or not we know just how deeply God loves us.


This video brought to my mind that God's message of the depths of His love is a message that He has been showering me with all my life, whether I've noticed it or paid attention to it or not.

In 1992, when I was 23 years old, I was spending time in prayer with a friend of mine, James. We were essentially kneeling down, facing each other as we prayed together. I don't remember what we were praying about, but James became emotional and suddenly reached over and hugged me tightly, crying over me. As he was doing this, out of his mouth came the phrase, "Know ye not that I love you?" I think the phrase was repeated at least once, perhaps more times. This was an unusual act from my friend, and I quickly realized that this was not James simply being James. Rather, it was my Father speaking to me through him and crying desperate tears of love over me, hugging me tightly.

God's words to me, "Know ye not that I love you," were both refreshing and haunting at the same time. I thought I knew that He loved me, but yet the truth was that I really had no clue about the depths of His unconditional, affectionate love for me.

Two or three years later, I came to somewhat of a grace-awakening in my life and I began to be consciously aware that I was growing in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I began to learn more of God's love and grace, and in the following years I was teaching about it and sharing it with many people. I was teaching people that they are not only saved by grace, but are kept by grace. I was teaching them that God loves them deeply and unconditionally, and that unconditional means what it says - no conditions!

Then in the fall of 2002 Steve McVey came to our church and taught during our weekend services. During the Saturday evening service, something special happened that I could never have forecast nor planned. Near the end of the service, Steve had everyone close their eyes and imagine Jesus Himself physically walking into the building, and then into the sanctuary, and then into the very row we were sitting in, and then coming right up to our seat. (Words can't really explain what was going on here. It was simply a way to visualize that Jesus really is right here with us and that He speaks to us). As we were sitting there quietly, with Jesus 'right there with us,' Steve asked Jesus to speak to us individually. The place was very quiet, and unlike many noisy worship services, the focus really was on Jesus.

I had no agenda and I had no clue what Jesus would say to me.

Suddenly the words came...

"Know ye not that I love you?"

I hadn't thought of those words in years! Those words were the farthest thing from my mind. I thought that if He spoke to me, He might perhaps give me some direction in my marriage or in 'my ministry' or something like that. Maybe He would give me a word for someone else. Again, I thought I knew of His love for me. After all, I was teaching it and sharing it with others all the time!

Instead, His word to me, in expounded, paraphrased form, was "Come on, Joel, don't you get how much I love you? Why haven't you let my love penetrate your life?" And again, the words were both refreshing and haunting. I realized that God was encouraging me in His deep love for me, and at the same time I realized that I really had no clue about the depths of His love.

Since that time, I've continued to teach about God's unconditional love. But much more than that, I've sought to really know His love. I've had to continue to unlearn a lot of the conditions that people, including myself, place on God's love. I've had to continue to unlearn a lot of the religious junk that I'd been taught over the years. But most of all, I've been wanting to simply know God and His love for me. I think I've grown quite a bit in understanding and knowing His deep love, but yet I wouldn't find it hard to believe at all if God were to repeat the same words to me in 2012! (Ten years after the last time, and twenty years after the first time). In fact, it's a question that now continually gets me more and more grounded in His love for me and not in what I can ever do for Him. What a blessing to just know God, and His love!

Tony Vincent - Out of My Hands

There are many reasons why the self-titled CD from Tony Vincent (1995) is my favorite album of all time. The following song is one of the reasons. The other nine songs on the album are the other reasons. :) Over the next few days I'll be posting some other things from T.V. I've followed his career from his days as a CCM artist up to the present.

Out of My Hands Video (embedding disabled)

Lyrics - check it out!

Michael Card - Why

I think I've posted this in the past, but it's a wonderful song. I've sung this a few times in a couple of different churches.

Michael Card and Friends - Why

Perfect love drives out fear

Saw this article, Perfect love drives out fear, over at GraceCreates. Lots of great stuff.

Fear leads to defensiveness and being less trusting. Fear comes out as criticism, manipulation, rejection and so many other things.

On the other hand, God's love casts out fear. It results in encouragement, edification, peace and so much more.

The Kry - I Know Everything About You

This song from Canadian band The Kry was a tremendous help and encouragement to me back in the days when I was really just beginning to learn about God's unconditional love.



Some of my favorite lines from the song include:

Bought with a price
Nothing you've done
It's a gift to you
My love is unconditional

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Each time you fall
Look to the sky
It won't change My love for you
It won't change My mind

Lift your head up
You will always be Mine
My grace for you
Will last until the end of time

---

And of course the chorus:

I know everything about you
I know what you say and do
But I still love you
I know everything about you
I know what you're thinking through
But I still love you

My own added thoughts... We humans do seem to feel the need to add "but" in front of God's unconditional "I love you." In other words, we picture God saying, "I know all the things you do, but I love you anyway." Believe it or not, I think this actually sells unconditional love short! I believe that with God, there is no "but." I don't think He loves us "in spite of" the things we do. His love has nothing to do with what we do or don't do.

Our Father loves us because He is love.

God's love confirmed to me

Early on the morning of October 8, 1993, the Lord woke me up and got me out of bed. It wasn't even 6:00am yet and at that time in life I was not normally an early riser, but yet I felt refreshed and for whatever reason I grabbed my yellow notepad and got in my car and went driving out into the country. I had no plans, I just went driving. I ended up pulling over into a tiny parking lot out in the country, near a radio tower. This lot is often used for carpoolers. I was the only one there. Sitting in my car, I was facing Highway 63, just south of Tripoli, Iowa.

In my heart, I was longing for something or looking for something, but I didn't necessarily know what it was. I was also simply observing the beauty of my surroundings out in the country and praising God. I sat there for over an hour and a half, and I took notes as I prayed and observed and longed. Below are the notes I took that morning. I was 24 years old, and just a year and a half into my new walk with Jesus. I had grown a lot, but was still unsure of a lot of things. In a large way my view of God was legalistic, but yet I knew that God was good and I knew He was full of grace. One big problem I had (which is easy to see now, looking back) is that my life was a big mixture of legalism and grace.

I guess some of the mixture of the views comes across in the notes I took that day, but overall this was a very memorable morning, full of grace. Although my notes are dear to my heart and they bring back a wonderful memory of that day, I know that sharing these notes does not do justice to what truly went on in my heart that day.

I was questioning God about His love for me, asking Him to show it to me. I was looking all around to try to spot Him showing it to me in one way or another. In the end, after I'd waited for an hour and a half, He suddenly showed His love to me in a very unexpected way!

October 8, 1993 Watching the Sun Come Up

6:20 Praise the Lord, the Mighty God
6:45 Who paints the eastern sky pink and orange, in the morning!
6:47 Praise You, Father as I wait to see Your Perfect Day begin.
6:48 The lights and the colors move and are hidden in the clouds. Then they light up the clouds.
6:49 No two seconds are exactly the same.
6:50 The sun is not up yet, but it’s coming. I can see that it’s coming!!
6:52 I praise You, Father for waking me up this morning. For bringing me to this place to behold Your awesome beauty! Early in the morning I seek Your face. I seek Your will. What do You want me to do, what do You want me to see, where do You want me to go, what do You want me to hear. Let me know, O Lord, and give me the grace to do Your will.
6:56 It’s becoming lighter around me, night is gone, but day isn’t here quite yet.
6:57 Just above the horizon the clouds are lit up. I can’t see the sun yet, but it’s coming. I know that it’s coming!!
7:02 It’s so still in the sky. I can’t see the changes, but yet minute by minute it’s all different.
7:04 The clouds shift about, the orange light smooths around looking to grab hold of another cloud, or else fly out into space father than I can see or imagine.
7:05 Most of the lower half of the sky is now a mixture of early morning blue and orange.
7:06 Beautiful! You’re wonderful, God!! The birds feel the same, as their morning song begins!
7:08 O, the wonders of Your Majesty! Let more people see this, God. How could they not believe in You if they could see what I see!
7:10 But where’s the sun? O, how I’ve waited to see the fiery sun pop over the horizon. I worship You Lord.
7:12 As I wait for the night to completely be gone and for a fresh new day and start, what else can I do but praise You and worship You!
7:17 Maybe I won’t see the sun – or am I just impatient! It’s light all around me now. I can see the trees in the distance that were once just shadows on the horizon.
7:22 The orange is tainting away as blue takes over. But still I see streaks and patches of orange here and there.
7:24 The birds around continue their morning song service, each one sharing his heart.
7:27 The creatures getting ready for their day, too I suppose; some preparing their beds, even. The orange clouds turn white up above and around.
7:28 But on the horizon they remain. The sun is coming!
7:34 O, how wonderful – a spot on the horizon, as fiery orange as fire! (Not the sun yet!) O, yes it is – it is the sun. The clouds were hiding it, but could hide it no more. Two inches above the horizon was the sun and I didn’t even know it!!
7:36 Now it’s a great full round ball of fire!!
7:37 But the street sign across the road is covering most of it.
7:41 Behold the love of God: Earlier as I was looking at the clouds, thinking about the shapes that are sometimes made to look like things, I asked God to show me His arms open wide (that I could be assured of His love). Well I didn’t see it in the clouds. But that street sign, with the sun surrounding it, became a cross for just a minute, and I could see God’s open arms. That’s where He had His arms open wide for everybody – on that cross. God showed His love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.
7:50 Well, I’ve been here for an hour and a half! I’m out on the corner of Highway 63 and C33. I’ve seen the beauty of a new day beginning, but more than that I’ve seen God’s love and I’ve learned a lesson in the importance of waiting. I waited here all that time and God blessed me! I’ll say it freely and surely – God blessed me for waiting! Praise God! He blessed me in a way that I never imagined and wasn’t expecting. What if I would have gotten so tired of waiting that I just turned around and went back home! I’d be sleeping and would have missed out on this beautiful display and assurance of God’s love. All the while through this I was comparing the coming of the sun with the coming of the Son (in my mind). Then as the sun appeared, the Son truly did appear!! God, I can’t fully comprehend all this, although it’s probably really simple – but one thing I know – You love me. Thank You – I don’t deserve it. But it’s true!

Those are the exact words I wrote that day, and again, my notes do no justice to the vision I was seeing! I had been paying absolutely no attention to that street sign, and as the colors danced all around me it intrigued me for a moment that the big fiery ball of the sun was hidden behind the sign and covered by the clouds. Then suddenly the clouds disappeared - moved out of the way - and what was left was the sun, positioned perfectly behind the 'cross' part of the street sign. I don't think it was a "real" vision, as in a street sign literally turning into a cross, but by the way it looked it may as well have been! I could no longer see a "street sign," and the sun was shining and glowing in just the perfect way to make it look like a cross with Jesus' arms spread wide open. God confirmed His love for me that day, by giving me a stunning and undeniable view of the cross of Jesus Christ.

Below is a picture that I took of the actual street sign a couple of months ago. This place is now my "holy ground." LOL. Every once in a while I stop by there and just sit for a while. Although I've never seen the same "vision," Father has spoken to my heart as I've sat in that place. The photo is taken from approximately the same position I was sitting in 14 years ago. Imagine an early, dark morning. The sun begins to rise. The partly cloudy sky is constantly changing. Imagine the clouds clearing away, exposing the sun in a similar way to the second picture below (not my own photo, but it just gives an idea of how the sun looked). Imagine the sun, right behind the street sign. Merge the two pictures together. Words and pictures can't truly describe it, but I was never the same after that morning!