A friend's blog - Layers

My very good friend in Fresno posted a Myspace blog the other day about her experience this past weekend at a Women of Faith conference, and I asked her if I could share it on my blogs. First, a little background - Carianne and I have been friends for a long, long time. To borrow a phrase from Mark Lowry, we go "way on back back, waaay on back!" In fact out of all the people I know in this entire world (aside from relatives), she and I go back the farthest. We had lost contact for a few years but then we reconnected a few years ago. At that time, Carianne was in a sad, sad, pathetic shape, spiritually speaking, and I single-handedly nursed her back to spiritual health through some hard hitting "get your act together" emails and some intense "how long must I put up with you" phone therapy sessions! Just kidding, Carianne! :)~

But seriously, back in the old days we never shared any type of connection as far as consciously sharing our life in Christ, but it's been very cool to see each other now, even 2000 miles across the country, grow in our relationships with Jesus and with our families. I know Carianne has been through a lot in her life, and I can see how she has grown over the years and how she continues to grow, as evidenced by her blog post about this past weekend - which sounds like it was a weekend that will be remembered for a long time to come. I'm sure we can all relate, in one way or another, to the often painful process of peeling back the layers of our souls in order to find renewal and healing from the Lord through His grace.

Here are her own words:

AMAZING, INSPIRATIONAL, UPLIFTING, TEARFUL, JOYFUL, INSIGHTFUL, AND WONDERFUL...are just a few words that can be used to describe the Women of Faith conference that I attended this weekend. The women there were full of texture, layers, honesty, purity, and the list goes on.

Their stories were often my own stories. Their struggles, their hardships, and their pain, reflected mine. I could relate to these women. And the good news is...well, it's God's good news...that none of these experiences are important anymore. He has showered us with his divine GRACE...his infinite GRACE. We have been cleansed by his grace. Whatever we have done, whatever has happened to us, it's all been erased in God's eyes. He sees us only as the beautiful, yes, I said beautiful, and flawless women He CREATED us to be.

Our own history, and the pressures we allow to be put on us by society, have tainted the vision we have of ourselves. If there was one thing I took from this experience it is that the ONLY thing that matters is what God sees in me. Yes, I have to live among many in this lifetime, and I will tend to care what they think and say, because I am human...but at the end of the day, when I am home, and in my quiet place with God, I will ask him to wash away those negative thoughts and restore in me the only thoughts that matter....HIS!

The woman that touched me most was Sandi Patti. She has a story to tell and she tells it well. She is probably the one I related to the most. She has a book called, LAYERS. As she spoke about some of the things she tells more deeply about in her book, I was struck between the eyes. I know about layers...I got a lot of them. We all have layers I think. Not to get too into it, you would need to read her book, as I have in 24 hours, but I realized that I have layers upon layers of shame, guilt, regret, abandonment, pain, and this list too goes on and on.

What Patti shared was how she peeled back those layers, a very painful process, and then allowed herself to be cleansed and renewed in God's GRACE. What a beautiful image! So because of this weekend, I am now working on peeling back my own layers and replacing those feelings of shame, guilt, etc., with God's infinite Grace. I'm replacing the negative views of others, and myself, that have been layered on me, with God's perfect view of me.

In closing, I'll just mention the amazing and beautiful Nicole C. Mullen. Look her up when you can. Her voice is so angelic and her music powerful and moving. Her music is for God, that we just get to enjoy. You must listen to "When I Call on Jesus". This song will move through you. Enjoy! There will be a new Women of Faith next year, in Sacramento. You may want to consider heading up there for it. You won't regret it. And the time away, focused on God will be worth the time and money! Blessings


By the way, Ogre's have layers, too! (I couldn't resist).

But the label is GREEN!

Well, I went to the doctor Wednesday because I've had several issues I've been dealing with, including a little bit of chest pain, my heart fluttering from time to time, and MAJOR pressure in my head, unlike anything I've ever had. You know when you're under a lot of stress, or are angry at the kids, and there's pressure in your head. It was that type of pressure. Almost kind of hard to concentrate on things. Thing is, I am under no stress and I'm far from angry at anyone or anything! I generally live a virtually stress-free life. But yet I've been sort of restless for a week or two, and this pressure has been pretty intense for almost a week.

So I was worried, thinking I had some sort of heart or cardiovascular problem, or blood clot. You know how the mind works. Long story short, the doc told me it could be a sinus infection, and to just let it run its course. If it doesn't go away, get checked out again. He didn't really say anything about the chest pain. Come on doc, you're supposed to FIX me!

Well, no worries. Yesterday I found some relief! And this is where it gets a little embarrassing, although I've been sharing it with everyone I see, so I guess it's more funny (at least to me) than anything.

A brief setup: I'm practically like a fish who lives in coffee, not water. I drink a lot of coffee. But I don't like all the caffeine so I usually mix about 3 scoops of decaf with 1 scoop of caffeinated coffee. So I really don't drink a whole lot of caffeine. I don't drink coffee for the caffeine. It's one of those "acquired tastes," and I would drink decaf exclusively if it had a bolder flavor. Well about a month ago I asked my wife to get me some decaf coffee at Walmart, since I was almost out. She brought home a green tin, and I continued mixing my 3:1 ratio of decaf/caf. About a week ago, I was thinking more about how decaf isn't as "strong" as the real stuff, so I started adding an extra scoop of decaf without adding more water. After doing that I thought, "Wow, this stuff tastes AMAZING! I'm gonna keep doing this! Decaf isn't so bad when you just add an extra scoop!"

So there I was yesterday morning, grabbing my green "decaf" tin and my blue "regular" tin. I looked at the label of the green tin. It said "premium coffee." So at first I thought, "OH, maybe that's why it's been tasting so good; I'll have to keep getting this 'premium' decaffeinated coffee." But then I kept looking, and looking and looking all over the tin for the word "decaffeinated." Huh, they forgot to put the word on the label! NOPE.

You probably figured out where I was going before I got to the punchline. Isn't this pathetic! I don't know which is more pathetic - that a company would sell "regular" coffee in a GREEN tin or that I didn't look at the label to make sure what I was drinking! My wife said that the shelf said "Decaffeinated" right where this stuff was. The store clerk probably thought it was decaf. A GREEN coffee label is SUPPOSED to mean DECAF, right???

So this explains EVERYTHING that I've gone through in the past few weeks, especially the past few days. Not only have I been mixing green regular coffee with regular regular coffee, but I've been adding an extra scoop! You know, I even thought about going skydiving one day - and now I know why! Just kidding. But man, simple tasks like reading a simple email had been the hardest thing during the past week. I would catch myself with my eyebrows raised and my forehead in its "stressed out" position, and I would think to myself, "What's going on??? I'm under no pressure here, I'm not stressed about anything!" So I would take a deep breath and sit back and relax, but I just couldn't get this pressure out of my head!

Now I know why! And now I know I'm going to check the labels more closely.