Saturday, December 13, 2008

You're My Best Friend

The other day a friend sent me a message on Facebook, asking about my wife Tracey, wondering if she had her own Facebook. This friend said she'd like to say 'Hi' to Tracey (essentially meaning, communicate with her via the internet). Well, Tracey doesn't have a Facebook account. No Myspace. No blog. No Yahoo Messenger. Not much of an online presence at all! In fact, she rarely spends any time at all on the computer. It's just who she is! Tracey is absolutely unlike me in so many ways!

But we've discovered along the way that it's not being alike that makes our marriage. In fact, what makes us friends is not that we have so many things in common. We often joke about all our differences. She loves leopard prints and colorful clothes. I love jeans and a single-colored t-shirt. She loves arts and crafts --- and she's great at sharing her talents with the kids. I can perhaps draw three circles and hope that someone sees it's a snowman. She listens to modern praise and worship and I listen to classic rock. We both love 80's pop though! She's neapolitan and mint chocolate chip and I'm plain vanilla, all day, every day, in every way.

The point is... well, I have no real point that I'm trying to make! I just wanted to say that you don't hear anything from Tracey on this blog, and the biggest reason for that is because this just isn't her thing. But yet, despite all the ways in which we're different, Tracey is my best friend. She does a great job raising her "four" kids. One is 10, one is almost 8 (two weeks from today), one is almost 40 and the last one is named Puppa. She is a hard worker. She is the most faithful, dependable person I've ever known.

This isn't to celebrate an anniversary, a birthday or anything of the sort. This is just because! "I'm happy at home... You're my best friend."

Queen - You're My Best Friend


  1. If we had wanted to be with someone just like us we'd of stayed SINGLE, right?? ;)

    Joel, you're so funny! You sound like Ryan...he's the vanilla ice-cream, I'm the sprinkles. Both are so much better together. Not just ice-cream or sprinkles but a SUNDAE!!! Why it "works" for us: we make each other laugh. :)

    Ryan & I would be "Still The One" by Orleans, gotta be 70's... :)

    What a beautiful bouquet to give your wife, composed of heartfelt words that won't ever fade or lose their sweet fragrance!! Joel, you're just a nice guy!! What a treasure! Nice is VERY GOOD!!!

  2. I love it when people are not ashamed of loving their soul-mate. It is rare. Great job Joel.

  3. Joel,
    Ahhh...beautiful post, my friend. Yes! Although I am not yet married, I do solidly believe that Papa places us purposely with someone who is not our clone, not a cookie-cutter of us. In fact, I wouldn't WANT it this way!! I think one of the glorious things about friendships is that we have/share differences. For in our differences, we come to more fully accept in them...and in ourselves...God's unique creativity that He fashioned us with. Yes, strengths, gifts and interests, along with quirks, kinks and foibles.

    Joel, thank you for posting this. It touches my heart.

    Say a warm "hello" for me to Tracey! May she enjoy her arts and crafts, modern praise music and a good scoop of mint chocolate chip (that's my favorite, too!!) or Neopolitan ice-cream.

    Smiles :)

    ~Amy :)

  4. Ok, Ill bite, "almost 40", are we talking dog years?

  5. It's refreshing to hear a husband say these things about his wife! That says quite a bit about you.....Joel! Your wife is a "responder" so my guess is that you love her very much!!!


  6. Hey all... Tracey really loved this! Not just the post but all your comments as well. Thanks so much.

    Roe, are you calling me a dog?

  7. Finally the light went on...

    ps. Are you calling me a Deer ???

  8. Roe a reer a female reer.
    Ray a rop of golden run...

    Rut Roe Raggy! (I beat Matthew to it!)

  9. Insert Adams family Lirtch, here shaking head and making throat sounds...

    no I have no idea how to spell lirtch so I faked it till I maked it

  10. Just try harder next time, and then keep on trying harder and harder till you get it. Then we'll move on to even harder things, eventually ending up almost at perfection when you can spell supercalifragi... well, you know, and then super duper perfection when you can spell the name of that town in Wales that has 58 letters.

  11. I never knew there was such a place.

    Hey were losing all that snow it's been raining and in the high 30's for the last day or two, I just got back from my hike and got soaked. I took my 4 pods with me but ran out because it was real hard to walk in the slippery slush especially at night. funny thing b4 I left I thought about taking the new one you've got out but decided not to .


    ps. next time I'll try harder and take 5... just kidding, 4 is enough to soak up at a time. thanks

  12. A lot of our snow melted yesterday and today as well. In fact it was 50º this morning and it felt like a heat wave. Then suddenly the winds came and the temps dropped into the 20's... and right now as I sit here it's 3º!!! Down to -2 overnight, they say. That'll be a difference of 52º in about 16 hours...... Ouch!

  13. Pretty much the same scenario played out here but not as dramatic of a temp drop, woke up to Low teens and snow falling.

    from now on instead of watching the weather channel, which gets it wrong allot, think I'll just check with you for a more accurate forecast.

    Drive careful.

  14. This put smiles on my face. Thank you for sharing!
    My wife and I always agree on everything under the sun, except... well... everything under the sun. :)

  15. Joel - so true! Isn't it great God gave us this special love for our mate? I'm honored to have my hubby as well - and we are so different! He loves cars and cna fix anything - I used to tell a mechanic what was wrong by making animated sounds... you get th epoint!
    You are Tracie are totlaly different - but totally cool!

  16. Bino,

    My wife and I pretty much agree on the same things that you and your wife agree on!


    Yep... I FULLY get your point. LOL :) And it's absolutely totally cool!

  17. Dang! Just when I had him almost trained to be just like me... and now you give me THIS??

    I guess I'll have to work on UN-training now. And, I nearly had him... I mean IT, in the bag!

    I guess I have one thing to say to Tracey: "Long live the leopard prints!!!" :) :)

    Glad someone's SO happy being different! :)

    Just in a silly mood tonight. I'm really very encouraged to know that you're enjoying your differences; that's how it should be! I think that's letting grace creep into the marriage though... hmmm... novel idea!

  18. Free Spirit,

    My wife is perfectly trained; what you talkin' 'bout???


    But really, even under grace I found myself still trying to conform my 'ways' to be more like her ways, and doing little (and big) things to get her to be more like me... and it resulted in a marriage that may have had some ok outward appearances, but was really dry and lacking in true agape love.

    A few years back I finally got a true revelation of what 'freedom' really means, and ever since that time we've been growing in "allowing" each other to be who God has made us to be, rather than trying to force our ways upon each other. It's definitely a growing process... by no means instantaneous!

    Yeah, when I first saw your blog, with all the leopard prints, I said to myself, "Tracey would really like this!"

  19. Learning to allow our mates to be who they are is difficult but well worth the effort. Joel, you've beautifully captured the heart of marriage.

    Actually, I thought Tracey wasn’t posting because you were hogging all of the computer time.

  20. Aida,

    So true... it involves a lot of "letting go" of certain things - like control, for example, as well as the whole idea that we were put together to change each other! The more I grow in grace, the more I see that it is for freedom that Christ has set us free, and that applies not just to "me," but to my wife as well! As we afford each other that freedom, I've found that we grow closer together, even if we aren't necessarily changing in the ways each other would like.

  21. Aida,

    So true... I too think Joel is hogging all the computer time.


    Your other friends and family, make it so EZ sometimes...

  22. Actually it's impossible for me to hog all the computer time. Hehehe... We have two computers, so we could both be in here at the same time. :) But she's just not into any of it like I am. At times she has called the computer my other wife... So... I make sure I'm not on here all the time talking with my friends who live in my computer!

  23. Well,,,,

    I guess we'll just have to share ya a little bit with her.